ragged blog

An excerpt from “How to Drink Wine Out of Fish Heads while Cooking a Lobster in a Volkswagen Hub Cap” by Ziggy Zen.

This is an interesting view on the history of logo’s presented in a joyously eccentric style. I was amused at the potential relevance to online gaming and it’s players/culture.

Logos began when murderous thugs in distant centuries became successful enough to have personal logos which where then called heraldry. Heraldry caused considerable excitement and quickly led to pageantry.

Pageantry was based on the ability to run popular events and have your logo held aloft on big sticks.

Over the years, with the help of heraldry and pageantry, the descendants of the most successful of the psychopaths became known as royalty.

This then led to the establishment of corporate headquarters which were known as palaces.

If the palaces were using total quality management then the meals were served on time and the horses were groomed properly. All of this meant that the palaces of royalty grew larger as the chins of royalty grew smaller.

But what of the poor people who didn’t have logo’s? Well, they did in a sense. In return for obedience they were granted illiteracy.

Through illiteracy they got logos, given to them so that trade could become simpler. The poor people drank beer and ate pizzas.

If the publican painted the word ‘BEER’ on his sign it didn’t mean much to them because they couldn’t read. For all they knew it might say, enrol here for a life in the army.

It wasn’t worth taking the risk.

But if the publican painted a big foaming jug of beer on his sign he’s got you. He’s got me, anyway. Welcome to the poor peoples first logo.

The same applied to takeaway food. So to make up for all the crap food you ate in the 13th Century here’s a pizza fit for a princess.

Is any of this making sense?

No wonder Billy Joe Macallister jumped off the tallahassee Bridge.